Tryouts can be nerve-wracking for both kids and parents. Whether your child is aiming to make a competitive team, move up a level, or simply do their best, the pressure can feel heavy. And as a parent, it can be hard to know exactly how to help. Do you push harder? Stay hands-off? Say more? Say less?

The truth is, while we can’t control the outcome of tryouts, we can help set our kids up for success: mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Here’s how you can support your child in building confidence and resilience through the tryout process.

Preparation Starts Long Before Tryouts

One of the best ways to help your child feel confident is to build solid routines well in advance. Preparation isn’t just about practicing drills, it's about taking care of the basics: sleep, nutrition, hydration, and rest.

When your child gets consistent sleep, eats balanced meals, drinks plenty of water, and maintains a regular routine, they feel more in control. This calm, steady foundation makes a huge difference when tryout season rolls around. It helps them feel ready, like they’ve done the work and can now show what they’re made of.

Even in the offseason, remind your child to stay connected to their sport in ways that feel fun. Motivation builds over time, and when the new season begins, you want them to feel energized and excited, not burnt out or anxious.

Let Go of What You Can't Control

Tryouts can sometimes come with talk of favoritism, unfair coaching decisions, or behind-the-scenes politics. As much as we wish those things didn’t exist, sometimes they do.

But during the tryout itself, it’s important for your child to stay focused on what they can control: their effort, attitude, focus, and how they respond to challenges. Worrying about politics or other players only drains mental energy. Encourage your athlete to stay in their lane, give their best, and trust that showing up with effort and heart matters more than anything.

Play to Their Strengths

Tryouts are not the time to fix weaknesses; they’re the time to perform.

Help your child think about what they’re good at. What do they want the coaches to notice? What makes them stand out?

Encourage them to focus on those strengths during the tryout window. While there’s always room to grow, tryouts are about showing what you’ve already developed. Later, there will be plenty of time to work on weaker areas. But right now? It’s game time. Remind them to keep it simple and trust their training.

Normalize Nerves and Mistakes

It’s completely normal for kids to feel anxious before and during tryouts. In fact, it’s a sign that they care! The key is helping them understand those feelings instead of being overwhelmed by them.

If they make a mistake or feel like they “messed up,” they might panic or think they’ve blown their chance. Teach them how to bounce back with a simple reset, whether it’s a few deep breaths, a calming phrase like “You’ve got this,” or a quick memory of a moment they felt proud. These little mental tools can make a big difference in staying focused and confident under pressure.

What If They Don't Make the Team?

Let’s face it: this is one of the hardest parts.

No parent wants to see their child disappointed. And no child wants to be left off the list. If it happens, it’s important to validate their feelings while helping them see the bigger picture.

Being cut is tough, but it’s not the end. In fact, it’s part of almost every successful athlete’s story. Michael Jordan was famously cut from his high school team, and Tom Brady was told he would never amount to anything on the football field. So were countless others. It doesn’t mean your child isn’t talented or worthy; it just means they’ve hit a bump in the road.

Remind them that one setback doesn’t define them. Help them find meaning in the experience and use it as motivation to grow, rather than a reason to give up.

Keep Their Identity Bigger Than the Game

Their worth isn’t defined by a jersey, a ranking, or a team name. It comes from who they are as a person: how they treat others, what they believe in, how they show up when things get hard.

One of the most important things we can teach young athletes is this: Sports are something they do, not who they are.

Help your child stay grounded in their values, friendships, faith, and family. When their identity is built on something deeper than performance, they’ll handle setbacks with more grace, and successes with more joy.

Final Thoughts

Tryouts are more than just a test of skill. They’re a moment of growth, for your child and for you. As a parent, your calm encouragement, perspective, and emotional steadiness go a long way.

Whether your child makes the team or not, you’re helping them develop life skills that go far beyond sport: resilience, emotional intelligence, confidence, and the ability to keep showing up.

And that’s the real win.

Key Takeaways: For Parents

1. Control the Controllables
   Preparation—sleep, nutrition, hydration, and routine—builds confidence and calms the mind before tryouts.
2. Focus on Performance, Not Politics
   While favoritism and unfairness do occur, dwelling on them during tryouts only drains energy for you and your athlete. Focus on what you can influence.
3. Maximize Strengths, Manage Weaknesses
   Tryouts are for showcasing your best, not fixing flaws. Highlight strengths without fixating on imperfections.
4. Develop Emotional Awareness
   Recognize anxiety as a natural response to fear of failure. Help your child learn to identify emotional triggers and reframe setbacks in the moment.
5. Use Mental Reset Tools
   Simple, encouraging self-talk or recalling past successes helps your child refocus and stay in the present.
6. Detach Self-Worth from Results
   Being cut is tough but not defining. Resilience is built by using rejection as motivation rather than defeat.
7. Anchor Identity Beyond Sport
   Fulfillment must come from values, relationships, faith, and meaning outside athletics. A grounded identity leads to greater freedom and performance.

Key Takeaways: For Athletes

1. Take Care of What You Can Control
   Getting good sleep, eating healthy, drinking water, and having a routine can help you feel more calm and confident before tryouts.
2. Focus on Playing Your Best
   Sometimes things aren’t fair, but tryouts are not the time to worry about that. Put your energy into doing your best, not what others are doing.
3. Show Off What You’re Good At
   Tryouts are your time to shine! Don’t stress about your mistakes, just do your best with the things you’re great at.
4. Understand Your Feelings
   It’s normal to feel nervous! That just means you care. When you know what you’re feeling, it’s easier to stay calm and bounce back.
5. Use a Reset Button
   If you mess up or get distracted, tell yourself something kind or think about a time you did great. It helps you get back on track fast.
6. You’re Awesome No Matter What
   Not making the team can hurt, but it doesn’t mean you’re not amazing. Use it as a reason to grow, not give up.
7. You’re More Than Just an Athlete
   You’re a great friend, teammate, helper, and so much more. Sports are part of your life, not all of it!

About the Author

Nick Johnson is a former NHL hockey player with a Master’s in Counselling Psychology. He now works as a Mental Performance Professional alongside his business partner, Dustin Kohn, at R&D Performance, where they specialize in mental performance training for professional and elite amateur athletes.

Nick is passionate about supporting athletes’ mental health and equipping them with personalized tools and strategies to achieve peak performance. He is also deeply committed to youth development, coaching at the community level to help young athletes thrive both in sports and in life.

Nick is a proud husband and father of four wonderful children, three of whom are girls!

Nick's favourite SPORTéA character is the "OG" Ringette Donut!

Learn More

Get free mental performance tips and insights by following R&D Performance on social media and through Nick and Dustin’s blog at www.randdperformance.com