How Teammates Become Friends: The Power of Sport and Connections

By Paige Bontus, B.Ed, MACP, Registered Provisional Psychologist

Why We Play: The Power of Belonging

When working with teams, I often ask the question, “Why are you here?”
Athletes usually answer that the sport is fun, they like to compete, but the number one reason is always to make new friends or spend time with the ones they already have.

Slaten et al. (2023) state that a sense of belonging is an essential human need, and this remains true in sport. The ability for a player to connect greatly influences both performance and enjoyment, which are key to success.

Team sport offers a unique environment where you are given a family and a group of friends simply by signing up or trying out. Especially for female athletes, participation is as much about connection as it is about competition.

Embracing a New Season

Starting on a new team is exciting but can also be nerve-racking, especially if you had a great group the year before. It is natural to want to hold onto those friendships, but one of the beautiful things about sport is that each season is unique. Every new team offers a new opportunity to build connections and create memories.

This can feel daunting at first, but there are ways to make it easier. Whether you are a parent, athlete, or coach, here are some ideas to help foster friendships this season.

Ideas for Players

• Smile and say hello to everyone
• Ask your teammate about their day
• Ask your teammate about something non-sport related 
• Sit by someone different
• Choose a different partner
• Make sure to take part in team-related activities 
• Spend time with teammates outside of the sport

Ideas for Coaches

• Schedule team building early and often so players can get to know each other
• Use icebreakers or a question of the day
• Encourage carpooling and stress the importance of attending team events
• Rotate pairings during warmups, drills, or goal setting activities
• Let winning partners choose a favourite activity or drill
• For older players, change up room assignments at away tournaments

Being a Good Teammate

Now that you have established connections, how can you make sure you keep them? Well one way is being a good teammate, before, during, and after you are playing your sport. Are you draining energy from teammates or are you energising and motivating them? Take a minute and reflect on what type of teammate you are.

According to Basketball for Coaches (2025), someone who is a good teammate might:

• Be a good listener
• Be reliable and consistent
• Encourage and cheer 
• Pick teammates up when they are down
• Team first versus personal recognition
• Show up and compete every day
• Include everyone 

Final Thoughts

So, want to make new friends this season? You won’t regret it and some of the friends you make through sport, you will have for a lifetime. Then follow it up with being a great teammate and everyone will want you on their team.

Have a great season. You got this!

About the Author

Paige Bontus, B. Ed, MACP, Registered Provisional Psychologist, Teacher Counsellor

Paige is a multi-sport athlete and a former University of Alberta Pandas Basketball Player. She has primarily coached women’s basketball at the Provincial and University level and has spent most of her coaching career at St. Albert Catholic High, coaching the Senior Girls.  Paige has now transitioned to coaching youth sports due to having younger children.  This includes U6 soccer, U8 basketball, and U10 ringette. Paige is passionate about sport and the lessons that come along with it. 

She has been a teacher for 15 years and a counsellor for 4 years. She has her Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology and is a Registered Provisional Psychologist. She loves working with teams and supporting them to perform at their best, individually and as a group.

Learn More

Are you ready to help your athletes grow confidence, belonging, and teamwork? Contact Paige at Paige.bontus@gmail.com to learn more.

References

Slaten, C., Klotthor, N., Lewis, C., & Lee, J. (2023). Belongingness & Sport: A theoretical framework to conceptualize belonging with athletes. Journal of Belonging and Human Connection (published online ahead of print 2023). https://doi.org/10.1163/27722856-bja10001

Basketball for Coaches. (2025). 23 qualities of a great teammate. https://www.basketballforcoaches.com/great-teammate/